I think there is something wrong with me, chemically. Neurologically, maybe. Something up there is misfiring or just plain not connecting. My moods do not make sense anymore-- often they are inappropriate for the given situation, and are unnervingly fleeting.
To make it clearer: after an amazing evening of relaxing with my friends, as I walk home, I'll feel a pang of guilt or sadness. I have no current obligations being neglected, and no reason to be upset, but this sudden emotion will be so poignant and repugnant so as to be uncomfortable.
Conversely, at the time of writing, I am in philosophy, a class in which my grade of an 'A' is secured, and I only attend out of respect for the professor and my grade. It only follows that I am bored out of my skull, and every morning I absolutely dread attending. So why, then, do I sit here positively elated? It is eight in the morning, I only had three hours of sleep, and yet I feel amazing. To complicate things further, I even took my Concerta today, which usually serves to make me feel like crap.
I understand that by their very definition, emotions are illogical, but this is absolutely absurd. There is no rhyme or reason to how I feel at any given moment. I'm getting tired of this.
O, profound coincidences! The topic of discussion in class just shifted to 'what makes you happy?'
4 comments:
You felt guilty 'cause you weren't hanging out with me, foo'. And happy at 8 AM on 3 hours of sleep because you were delirious. That's what happens to me when I'm totally sleep deprived, I get happy and hyper. Then... then I crash about 8 hours later, haha.
Either way, I think we all experience emotions that make no sense, just some more than others. You're... lucky? Or something?
i think you should write more blogs. why did you stop? dont say because your too busy or you have too much work to do.
Oh? Who is this?
write more :)
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