Exhaustion Saves the Day

I can safely say that for the first time ever, being ridiculously overtired has saved my sorry ass.
When I woke up this morning, I was actually past the point where you would easily turn off your alarm and go back to sleep without giving it a second thought. I was so far past it, though, that I was actually still dreaming when I woke up. I awoke under the impression that I was just napping, and that it was dark outside because it was dinner time.

"Oh," I thought, "I'm not really that hungry. I'll skip dinner and just go back to sleep."
But, I realized (thank goodness)...


"Wait! I have dinner plans with Joey and Madeline! It wouldn't be nice to skip out on them."


So I got out of bed, and only after I got dressed and ready to leave did I realize that I was really going to class. Kind of sad.

Things I've Learned During my First Semester

This is not an all-encompassing list. If I think of more, i'll add more.

• Even though we don't have a bedtime anymore... Most of the time, i'll still be in bed by twelve.
• Although not required to, at the end of the night, we usually retire to our own beds in our own bedrooms.
• You CAN let your friends cut your hair. (Kristyn, it looks wonderful, dahling)
• There is no joy in life greater than a can of whipped cream shared amongst friends.
• Except maybe Super Taranta! by Gogol Bordello
• ...Or passing a can of whipped cream around in the car on the way back from the store while listening to Gogol Bordello.
• Sociology is not a real science.
• "I can't, I just ate" is a valid excuse for any and all situations.

Fresh

For the past three days, instead of sitting in my room all evening I have spent the majority of my afternoon and night wandering the campus with Joey A. (and either Madeline V., A.J. Z., Kristyn L. or Louis P.). We explore the many paths and plants of the Arboretum, amble from place to place, and pause briefly in buildings to collapse in couches, chairs (or lacking those, on the floor) to just relax and chat. And, of course, our night ends with the floor in Madeline V's living room and a pot of coffee at Friendly's.

And, I feel good. Doing all of this extra walking at night, I feel healthier, and calmer, too. This is a nice habit to form.

Executive Asshole

I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, find that, due to the unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security and foreign policy of the United States posed by acts of violence threatening the peace and stability of Iraq and undermining efforts to promote economic reconstruction and political reform in Iraq and to provide humanitarian assistance to the Iraqi people, it is in the interests of the United States to take additional steps with respect to the national emergency declared in Executive Order 13303 of May 22, 2003, and expanded in Executive Order 13315 of August 28, 2003, and relied upon for additional steps taken in Executive Order 13350 of July 29, 2004, and Executive Order 13364 of November 29,
2004."

This is absolutely disgusting. First Bush suspends the writ of Habeas Corpus with the PATRIOT Act. Then he suspends the fifth amendment (in a move not covered well by the press, I might add). And now, he suspends the first amendment.

What's next? He's made an ass of himself and a mockery of the United States Constitution, and as a result, of our country.

Everything Passes in Time

"Oh, gosh darnit. Auuugh. Errrrr--ahhhhh. Bloody... god!"

I think the person sitting behind me in the bookstore is having a baby. But I can't tell if it is a boy or a girl, so it might be kidney stones.

Or god knows what.

Ladies Man? Not Quite.

So... I don't quite understand... people.
I was sitting here at my [beautiful] laptop, reading over my sociology lectures to prepare myself for tomorrow's test, when I noticed my computer was ringing. I was being invited to a video chat.
Not one to be rude, I accepted, even though I did not recognize the screen name. The guy on the other side of the camera wasn't wearing a shirt, but he was wearing a backwards baseball cap (if memory serves), and he appeared to be reclining on a couch.
He said something, but my headphones were plugged in but not on my head, so I didn't hear him. I told him so. Once I got my headphones on, the conversation went exactly like this:

Mystery dude: "Who the [expletive deleted] is this?"
Me: "Uhh..."
Mystery dude: (cuts me off) "Why the [expletive deleted] are you on my girlfriend's buddy list?"
Me: "Who is your girlfriend?"
Mystery dude: "[Girl's name I only half made out]"
Me: "I don't think I know your girlfriend."
Mystery dude: "What the [expletive deleted] are you doing on her buddy list? Get the [expletive deleted] off of her buddy list. I'm [expletive deleted]-ing blocking you."

He then hung up.

And so, I ask the age-old question:

Uhh, what?

Grr

Seriously, UF, this is the last straw.
You sent me letter after letter telling me to make sure that I apply to your prestigious institution, all the while being in possession of my application, and deferring me time and again. Finally, you just tell me that I didn't get accepted, and what do you do? Send me a letter telling me to make sure that I apply.

And now, now, a representative of your natural sciences department, by way of your honors school, sends me an email welcoming me to the program, and congratulating me on my good decision.


...What. I didn't even apply as a science major.


I was english literature.

Philosophical Ramblings

Saint Anselm's ontological argument for the existence of god is as such:

1. God is that which none greater can be conceived
2. God is perfect

Therefore, if we can conceive an idea of that which none greater can be conceived, then we can easily conceive of something greater: if that idea does exist.
Ergo, if we can conceive the idea of god, god must exist.

This proof, however, is self-entrapping: you can't conceive existence, because what you "conceive" is just that -- a concept. Following Anselm's proof, if we cannot conceive anything greater than the concept of god, and god is that which none greater than can be conceived, then god must exist as a concept.


Kant was a brilliant man, but his refutation of Anselm's idea, hinging on the word 'if,' was nearly Clinton-esque in ridiculousness and futility.

Fastest Fingers in the Bookstore

Thoughtfully, my sociology professor made the second extra credit assignment the exact same as the first. What a guy.
The first time I did it, I got 10/10 extra credit points, which is nice. Not to jinx my grade luck, I wrote 50% more than I did last time, and used a new topic.

I just hope I did it correctly for this instance, though, because I've already submitted it and we've yet to attend class this week...

Con-den-say-shun

If ever I complain about the weather back home, please smack me.
Since I arrived here in Orlando, it has rained just about every single day. Some days, it is just a little drizzle, other days it gets so bad that it knocks over and demolishes the potted plants by the Towers.

In fact, in just the past two days, we've had full-fledged lightening sirens twice.
Last night, the news said try not to be outdoors [severe thunderstorm warnings].

Its weird. At home, I loved weather like this.

Run Like Hell

So, starting today, Madeline V. and I are going to go running every other day.

We went back to her apartment after dinner and used there as our starting point tonight. We ran past all of the towering houses and post-modern abodes on Greek Row. Reaching the end, where construction begins on Eastern Gemini, we turned back around. A cute guy was coming, so Mad decided we should pick up the pace. Just at that moment, an SUV full of girls drove by, promptly rolling down the windows and yelling "woo!"

Obviously, they thought Madeline was cute.

Iron

I broke an exercise machine today. Broke it!
On the abductor machine, I set it to 160 lbs for my second set, and the belt just... snapped! For a second there I felt really manly.

Then I just felt stupid.



In slightly less interesting news, while weaving in and out of orientation kids so he, AJ and I could grab some lunch, Louis noticed a used hypodermic needle on the brick wall outside of the marketplace.

Not speaking from experience, but I bet whatever was in that needle really helped some kid get through orientation.

Striations

It's interesting. I never noticed it before, but there seems to be rows in the human skin. Not columns, though, unless you are standing on your side.

In philosophy, the jock in front of me decided to get to know me better, or something, so he reclined in his seat (ooh, weird. As I wrote this, he leaned forward) (curses, he's back!). The back of his neck could use a good shave, as I can see each individual black follicle, aligned neatly in levels in the lines of his flesh (come to think of it, he could use a good moisturizing, too) (and a shower).

Hey, the lines on my hands are pretty neat, too. Like the spiderwebbing of a smashed windshield, or the craquelature of an old painting.


Oh, crap. I didn't take my concerta today.

Down South

We went to Gainesville. Kristyn L, Janice S, Shannon M, Erica D, Joe O and I. Just a day and a half. But that was enough.

Made me realize how much I like that school, how gorgeous the campus is with all of the large trees and the Spanish Moss, how much I miss my friends. Made me realize a few other things, too, but they are not within the purview of this journal.

I saw Stephen M (the Juice Box, my best friend) and Erika S ([Rikki], my ex, and other best friend), among others. The Juice and I got to spend some quality time.

Steak n Shake at 3 AM, with a waitress not possessing the cognitive faculties at that hour to differentiate between a strawberry and a peach.
Walgreens at 3:30 AM, with a photo lab tech (?) with a sense of humor at all hours of the night, and a Pharmacist who, for some reason, is suspicious of two college kids who enter the store in the middle of the night laughing and shuffling through their jingling pockets.
Dorm room at 7 AM, when the Juice's roommate shuffles in to go to bed. We only realized 3 hours later that he was sporting a nasty gash on his leg, with dried blood running all the way down to his foot.
And finally, drifting in and out of sleep in the common room from probably 2 PM to 6 PM, while watching Myth Busters, POWERTHIRST, and screaming Pac Man, and helping others with their wireless internet.

Later on, the Juice, Rikki, the others and I met up with Laura E (or J, depending on whom you are asking) and her mother, who treated us to seeing Eli (our favorite kitten) and her two dogs, one who is pushing babies back in like nobody's business. Her mom treated all of us to dinner at the Cracker Barrel, for which I owe her immensely.

And for the cryptic message of the day, I don't like how things are ending up but I know what I want to happen.

Independent

Don't get me wrong. There's nothing i'd rather do than drive alongside some beautiful lady.
But to spend some time in the car on a national holiday with four beautiful ladies?
Now that's just tops.


Happy independence day everyone. I hope yours was as good as mine.
Waking up at 2:30 in the afternoon, walking to breakfast/lunch in the rain, and hanging out with Kristyn L. and her roommates at Pleasure Island, Disney watching the fireworks, that's hard to beat.

The only fourth of July that I think truly tops this one was last years, when, after a hard day working alongside Habitat for Humanity in Catamayo, Ecuador, our hostel fed us hamburgers and gave us American flag napkins.



Nothing makes you appreciate your country more than not having it.

Ack, my Memories!

So, I remember my first shower ever when we moved into our last house prior to this one. My sister was hanging out with our new neighbor, Tina H. The bathroom was a sickly Pepto-Bismol(tm) shade of pink with just enough white to temper it. I was five and I was manly, so the white was absolutely essential to my ego.
I got into the shower (sorry, no details, pervert) and went about my business getting squeaky clean. As the shower wore on, I noticed that the shower curtain was getting ever closer to me, billowing in towards the center. With the first live-action Casper the Friendly Ghost movie (with Christina Ricci?) having just come out, my first thought was obviously "Oh man, Fatso (one of Casper's uncles... he was fat) must be in the bathroom and he's pushing the curtain in!"
That was the explanation I gave myself for years, me being so awesome.

And now, look at this! This, this... blasphemy!



Science, once again you have ruined my childhood.

Los Entiendo

It's a lot of fun to sit down next to someone speaking on the phone in a different language.
You just have to make sure to give them confused or put-off looks whenever they laugh genuinely.

You know, to keep them guessing.

Onward!

"It's the journey, not the destination. But it's also the destination, too."
--Kristyn L.

So, Kristyn and I got lost today. But not the bad kind of lost where you're not happy not knowing where you are and you follow a river in circles in the woods at night and your nose runs and you make a crappy faux-documentary while escaping from a folklore witch of the "Blair" variety.


Yeah, i'm looking at you, Dennis the Menace.



Anyways, we went out to look for something to do. Four hours later we got back, plus food from Sonic, a DVD, two CDs, two posters, heads full of memories and absolutely no clue where the hell we just were.

I'd totally do it again.

One Down, Countless to Go.

First college test today, General Sociology chapters one through three.
I finished in fifteen minutes. I took an extra five to double check my work. There were a few ambiguous questions, but I’m fairly confident.

Twenty minutes after I started my test, I was leaving the room. Nobody else looked even close to finished.

Man, was that awkward.

People of the Bookstore Cafe

It's kind of fun to sit here and just people watch. As long as it looks like you're occupied with a book or a laptop, and provided you are not Creepy Old Guy, it's not hard to pull off unnoticed.


Kid sitting next to me:
Yes, I see that you are reading. Good for you. But it is not necessary to pretend to stop reading for a moment to observe the book cover, feigning great interest. You're not fooling anyone. Honestly, you'd look like less of an idiot if you had just turned to me and proclaimed loudly the title of the book you were reading, instead of just slyly turning the cover towards me and sneaking glances in my direction.

But I am impressed nonetheless; Harry Potter is right up there with Dostoevsky and Dickens.


Girl in the faux-bohemian green striped top:
You want one of the comfortable chairs, a desire to which I can relate. There are probably a dozen of them in the cafe, alongside two or three couches. People are coming and going all the time, so at any given moment there are probably 4 seats freshly occupied, 4 seats used for some time, and 4 about to vacate. Unfortunately for you, i'm still in the middle 4 (although learning towards the third 4). I'm sitting here, trying to write and relax, and having you come by and glare at me every 20 seconds isn't making it any easier. Do you have some special connection with this chair? Too bad. I'm annoyed now.

Oh. damn. The seat next to me opened up.
You win this time.


Guy who left not too long after I sat down:
Damn it, you gave little miss anxiety your chair. But, I suppose it is for the best. You were making me sort of uncomfortable just being here. You were flashing your book around for all to see, just like the little wizard next to me, but... Why? For the love of god and all that is holy, why? You're not even reading anything remotely pop culture. Your book, which reads from right to left (cough, cough), doesn't even have any English text on the front for someone else to recognize. Sorry, pal, but I don't think anyone around us reads Kanji quite like you do.
We all, however, recognize the international symbol for two females, covered in soap suds, making out.

Which, coincidentally, is two females, covered in soap suds, making out.

Classy.