Augh, my Brain!

I think there is something wrong with me, chemically. Neurologically, maybe. Something up there is misfiring or just plain not connecting. My moods do not make sense anymore-- often they are inappropriate for the given situation, and are unnervingly fleeting.

To make it clearer: after an amazing evening of relaxing with my friends, as I walk home, I'll feel a pang of guilt or sadness. I have no current obligations being neglected, and no reason to be upset, but this sudden emotion will be so poignant and repugnant so as to be uncomfortable.

Conversely, at the time of writing, I am in philosophy, a class in which my grade of an 'A' is secured, and I only attend out of respect for the professor and my grade. It only follows that I am bored out of my skull, and every morning I absolutely dread attending. So why, then, do I sit here positively elated? It is eight in the morning, I only had three hours of sleep, and yet I feel amazing. To complicate things further, I even took my Concerta today, which usually serves to make me feel like crap.

I understand that by their very definition, emotions are illogical, but this is absolutely absurd. There is no rhyme or reason to how I feel at any given moment. I'm getting tired of this.



O, profound coincidences! The topic of discussion in class just shifted to 'what makes you happy?'

Exhaustion Saves the Day

I can safely say that for the first time ever, being ridiculously overtired has saved my sorry ass.
When I woke up this morning, I was actually past the point where you would easily turn off your alarm and go back to sleep without giving it a second thought. I was so far past it, though, that I was actually still dreaming when I woke up. I awoke under the impression that I was just napping, and that it was dark outside because it was dinner time.

"Oh," I thought, "I'm not really that hungry. I'll skip dinner and just go back to sleep."
But, I realized (thank goodness)...


"Wait! I have dinner plans with Joey and Madeline! It wouldn't be nice to skip out on them."


So I got out of bed, and only after I got dressed and ready to leave did I realize that I was really going to class. Kind of sad.

Things I've Learned During my First Semester

This is not an all-encompassing list. If I think of more, i'll add more.

• Even though we don't have a bedtime anymore... Most of the time, i'll still be in bed by twelve.
• Although not required to, at the end of the night, we usually retire to our own beds in our own bedrooms.
• You CAN let your friends cut your hair. (Kristyn, it looks wonderful, dahling)
• There is no joy in life greater than a can of whipped cream shared amongst friends.
• Except maybe Super Taranta! by Gogol Bordello
• ...Or passing a can of whipped cream around in the car on the way back from the store while listening to Gogol Bordello.
• Sociology is not a real science.
• "I can't, I just ate" is a valid excuse for any and all situations.

Fresh

For the past three days, instead of sitting in my room all evening I have spent the majority of my afternoon and night wandering the campus with Joey A. (and either Madeline V., A.J. Z., Kristyn L. or Louis P.). We explore the many paths and plants of the Arboretum, amble from place to place, and pause briefly in buildings to collapse in couches, chairs (or lacking those, on the floor) to just relax and chat. And, of course, our night ends with the floor in Madeline V's living room and a pot of coffee at Friendly's.

And, I feel good. Doing all of this extra walking at night, I feel healthier, and calmer, too. This is a nice habit to form.

Executive Asshole

I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, find that, due to the unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security and foreign policy of the United States posed by acts of violence threatening the peace and stability of Iraq and undermining efforts to promote economic reconstruction and political reform in Iraq and to provide humanitarian assistance to the Iraqi people, it is in the interests of the United States to take additional steps with respect to the national emergency declared in Executive Order 13303 of May 22, 2003, and expanded in Executive Order 13315 of August 28, 2003, and relied upon for additional steps taken in Executive Order 13350 of July 29, 2004, and Executive Order 13364 of November 29,
2004."

This is absolutely disgusting. First Bush suspends the writ of Habeas Corpus with the PATRIOT Act. Then he suspends the fifth amendment (in a move not covered well by the press, I might add). And now, he suspends the first amendment.

What's next? He's made an ass of himself and a mockery of the United States Constitution, and as a result, of our country.

Everything Passes in Time

"Oh, gosh darnit. Auuugh. Errrrr--ahhhhh. Bloody... god!"

I think the person sitting behind me in the bookstore is having a baby. But I can't tell if it is a boy or a girl, so it might be kidney stones.

Or god knows what.

Ladies Man? Not Quite.

So... I don't quite understand... people.
I was sitting here at my [beautiful] laptop, reading over my sociology lectures to prepare myself for tomorrow's test, when I noticed my computer was ringing. I was being invited to a video chat.
Not one to be rude, I accepted, even though I did not recognize the screen name. The guy on the other side of the camera wasn't wearing a shirt, but he was wearing a backwards baseball cap (if memory serves), and he appeared to be reclining on a couch.
He said something, but my headphones were plugged in but not on my head, so I didn't hear him. I told him so. Once I got my headphones on, the conversation went exactly like this:

Mystery dude: "Who the [expletive deleted] is this?"
Me: "Uhh..."
Mystery dude: (cuts me off) "Why the [expletive deleted] are you on my girlfriend's buddy list?"
Me: "Who is your girlfriend?"
Mystery dude: "[Girl's name I only half made out]"
Me: "I don't think I know your girlfriend."
Mystery dude: "What the [expletive deleted] are you doing on her buddy list? Get the [expletive deleted] off of her buddy list. I'm [expletive deleted]-ing blocking you."

He then hung up.

And so, I ask the age-old question:

Uhh, what?

Grr

Seriously, UF, this is the last straw.
You sent me letter after letter telling me to make sure that I apply to your prestigious institution, all the while being in possession of my application, and deferring me time and again. Finally, you just tell me that I didn't get accepted, and what do you do? Send me a letter telling me to make sure that I apply.

And now, now, a representative of your natural sciences department, by way of your honors school, sends me an email welcoming me to the program, and congratulating me on my good decision.


...What. I didn't even apply as a science major.


I was english literature.

Philosophical Ramblings

Saint Anselm's ontological argument for the existence of god is as such:

1. God is that which none greater can be conceived
2. God is perfect

Therefore, if we can conceive an idea of that which none greater can be conceived, then we can easily conceive of something greater: if that idea does exist.
Ergo, if we can conceive the idea of god, god must exist.

This proof, however, is self-entrapping: you can't conceive existence, because what you "conceive" is just that -- a concept. Following Anselm's proof, if we cannot conceive anything greater than the concept of god, and god is that which none greater than can be conceived, then god must exist as a concept.


Kant was a brilliant man, but his refutation of Anselm's idea, hinging on the word 'if,' was nearly Clinton-esque in ridiculousness and futility.

Fastest Fingers in the Bookstore

Thoughtfully, my sociology professor made the second extra credit assignment the exact same as the first. What a guy.
The first time I did it, I got 10/10 extra credit points, which is nice. Not to jinx my grade luck, I wrote 50% more than I did last time, and used a new topic.

I just hope I did it correctly for this instance, though, because I've already submitted it and we've yet to attend class this week...