I think there is something wrong with me, chemically. Neurologically, maybe. Something up there is misfiring or just plain not connecting. My moods do not make sense anymore-- often they are inappropriate for the given situation, and are unnervingly fleeting.
To make it clearer: after an amazing evening of relaxing with my friends, as I walk home, I'll feel a pang of guilt or sadness. I have no current obligations being neglected, and no reason to be upset, but this sudden emotion will be so poignant and repugnant so as to be uncomfortable.
Conversely, at the time of writing, I am in philosophy, a class in which my grade of an 'A' is secured, and I only attend out of respect for the professor and my grade. It only follows that I am bored out of my skull, and every morning I absolutely dread attending. So why, then, do I sit here positively elated? It is eight in the morning, I only had three hours of sleep, and yet I feel amazing. To complicate things further, I even took my Concerta today, which usually serves to make me feel like crap.
I understand that by their very definition, emotions are illogical, but this is absolutely absurd. There is no rhyme or reason to how I feel at any given moment. I'm getting tired of this.
O, profound coincidences! The topic of discussion in class just shifted to 'what makes you happy?'
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Exhaustion Saves the Day
I can safely say that for the first time ever, being ridiculously overtired has saved my sorry ass.
When I woke up this morning, I was actually past the point where you would easily turn off your alarm and go back to sleep without giving it a second thought. I was so far past it, though, that I was actually still dreaming when I woke up. I awoke under the impression that I was just napping, and that it was dark outside because it was dinner time.
"Oh," I thought, "I'm not really that hungry. I'll skip dinner and just go back to sleep."
But, I realized (thank goodness)...
"Wait! I have dinner plans with Joey and Madeline! It wouldn't be nice to skip out on them."
So I got out of bed, and only after I got dressed and ready to leave did I realize that I was really going to class. Kind of sad.
When I woke up this morning, I was actually past the point where you would easily turn off your alarm and go back to sleep without giving it a second thought. I was so far past it, though, that I was actually still dreaming when I woke up. I awoke under the impression that I was just napping, and that it was dark outside because it was dinner time.
"Oh," I thought, "I'm not really that hungry. I'll skip dinner and just go back to sleep."
But, I realized (thank goodness)...
"Wait! I have dinner plans with Joey and Madeline! It wouldn't be nice to skip out on them."
So I got out of bed, and only after I got dressed and ready to leave did I realize that I was really going to class. Kind of sad.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Things I've Learned During my First Semester
This is not an all-encompassing list. If I think of more, i'll add more.
- Even though we don't have a bedtime anymore... Most of the time, i'll still be in bed by twelve.
- Although not required to, at the end of the night, we usually retire to our own beds in our own bedrooms.
- You CAN let your friends cut your hair. (Kristyn, it looks wonderful, dahling)
- There is no joy in life greater than a can of whipped cream shared amongst friends.
- Except maybe Super Taranta! by Gogol Bordello
- ...Or passing a can of whipped cream around in the car on the way back from the store while listening to Gogol Bordello.
- Sociology is not a real science.
- "I can't, I just ate" is a valid excuse for any and all situations.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Fresh
For the past three days, instead of sitting in my room all evening I have spent the majority of my afternoon and night wandering the campus with Joey A. (and either Madeline V., A.J. Z., Kristyn L. or Louis P.). We explore the many paths and plants of the Arboretum, amble from place to place, and pause briefly in buildings to collapse in couches, chairs (or lacking those, on the floor) to just relax and chat. And, of course, our night ends with the floor in Madeline V's living room and a pot of coffee at Friendly's.
And, I feel good. Doing all of this extra walking at night, I feel healthier, and calmer, too. This is a nice habit to form.
And, I feel good. Doing all of this extra walking at night, I feel healthier, and calmer, too. This is a nice habit to form.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Executive Asshole
I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, find that, due to the unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security and foreign policy of the United States posed by acts of violence threatening the peace and stability of Iraq and undermining efforts to promote economic reconstruction and political reform in Iraq and to provide humanitarian assistance to the Iraqi people, it is in the interests of the United States to take additional steps with respect to the national emergency declared in Executive Order 13303 of May 22, 2003, and expanded in Executive Order 13315 of August 28, 2003, and relied upon for additional steps taken in Executive Order 13350 of July 29, 2004, and Executive Order 13364 of November 29,This is absolutely disgusting. First Bush suspends the writ of Habeas Corpus with the PATRIOT Act. Then he suspends the fifth amendment (in a move not covered well by the press, I might add). And now, he suspends the first amendment.
2004."
What's next? He's made an ass of himself and a mockery of the United States Constitution, and as a result, of our country.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Everything Passes in Time
"Oh, gosh darnit. Auuugh. Errrrr--ahhhhh. Bloody... god!"
I think the person sitting behind me in the bookstore is having a baby. But I can't tell if it is a boy or a girl, so it might be kidney stones.
Or god knows what.
I think the person sitting behind me in the bookstore is having a baby. But I can't tell if it is a boy or a girl, so it might be kidney stones.
Or god knows what.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Ladies Man? Not Quite.
So... I don't quite understand... people.
I was sitting here at my [beautiful] laptop, reading over my sociology lectures to prepare myself for tomorrow's test, when I noticed my computer was ringing. I was being invited to a video chat.
Not one to be rude, I accepted, even though I did not recognize the screen name. The guy on the other side of the camera wasn't wearing a shirt, but he was wearing a backwards baseball cap (if memory serves), and he appeared to be reclining on a couch.
He said something, but my headphones were plugged in but not on my head, so I didn't hear him. I told him so. Once I got my headphones on, the conversation went exactly like this:
He then hung up.
And so, I ask the age-old question:
Uhh, what?
I was sitting here at my [beautiful] laptop, reading over my sociology lectures to prepare myself for tomorrow's test, when I noticed my computer was ringing. I was being invited to a video chat.
Not one to be rude, I accepted, even though I did not recognize the screen name. The guy on the other side of the camera wasn't wearing a shirt, but he was wearing a backwards baseball cap (if memory serves), and he appeared to be reclining on a couch.
He said something, but my headphones were plugged in but not on my head, so I didn't hear him. I told him so. Once I got my headphones on, the conversation went exactly like this:
Mystery dude: "Who the [expletive deleted] is this?"
Me: "Uhh..."
Mystery dude: (cuts me off) "Why the [expletive deleted] are you on my girlfriend's buddy list?"
Me: "Who is your girlfriend?"
Mystery dude: "[Girl's name I only half made out]"
Me: "I don't think I know your girlfriend."
Mystery dude: "What the [expletive deleted] are you doing on her buddy list? Get the [expletive deleted] off of her buddy list. I'm [expletive deleted]-ing blocking you."
He then hung up.
And so, I ask the age-old question:
Uhh, what?
Grr
Seriously, UF, this is the last straw.
You sent me letter after letter telling me to make sure that I apply to your prestigious institution, all the while being in possession of my application, and deferring me time and again. Finally, you just tell me that I didn't get accepted, and what do you do? Send me a letter telling me to make sure that I apply.
And now, now, a representative of your natural sciences department, by way of your honors school, sends me an email welcoming me to the program, and congratulating me on my good decision.
...What. I didn't even apply as a science major.
I was english literature.
You sent me letter after letter telling me to make sure that I apply to your prestigious institution, all the while being in possession of my application, and deferring me time and again. Finally, you just tell me that I didn't get accepted, and what do you do? Send me a letter telling me to make sure that I apply.
And now, now, a representative of your natural sciences department, by way of your honors school, sends me an email welcoming me to the program, and congratulating me on my good decision.
...What. I didn't even apply as a science major.
I was english literature.
Philosophical Ramblings
Saint Anselm's ontological argument for the existence of god is as such:
Ergo, if we can conceive the idea of god, god must exist.
This proof, however, is self-entrapping: you can't conceive existence, because what you "conceive" is just that -- a concept. Following Anselm's proof, if we cannot conceive anything greater than the concept of god, and god is that which none greater than can be conceived, then god must exist as a concept.
Kant was a brilliant man, but his refutation of Anselm's idea, hinging on the word 'if,' was nearly Clinton-esque in ridiculousness and futility.
- God is that which none greater can be conceived
- God is perfect
Ergo, if we can conceive the idea of god, god must exist.
This proof, however, is self-entrapping: you can't conceive existence, because what you "conceive" is just that -- a concept. Following Anselm's proof, if we cannot conceive anything greater than the concept of god, and god is that which none greater than can be conceived, then god must exist as a concept.
Kant was a brilliant man, but his refutation of Anselm's idea, hinging on the word 'if,' was nearly Clinton-esque in ridiculousness and futility.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Fastest Fingers in the Bookstore
Thoughtfully, my sociology professor made the second extra credit assignment the exact same as the first. What a guy.
The first time I did it, I got 10/10 extra credit points, which is nice. Not to jinx my grade luck, I wrote 50% more than I did last time, and used a new topic.
I just hope I did it correctly for this instance, though, because I've already submitted it and we've yet to attend class this week...
The first time I did it, I got 10/10 extra credit points, which is nice. Not to jinx my grade luck, I wrote 50% more than I did last time, and used a new topic.
I just hope I did it correctly for this instance, though, because I've already submitted it and we've yet to attend class this week...
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Con-den-say-shun
If ever I complain about the weather back home, please smack me.
Since I arrived here in Orlando, it has rained just about every single day. Some days, it is just a little drizzle, other days it gets so bad that it knocks over and demolishes the potted plants by the Towers.
In fact, in just the past two days, we've had full-fledged lightening sirens twice.
Last night, the news said try not to be outdoors [severe thunderstorm warnings].
Its weird. At home, I loved weather like this.
Since I arrived here in Orlando, it has rained just about every single day. Some days, it is just a little drizzle, other days it gets so bad that it knocks over and demolishes the potted plants by the Towers.
In fact, in just the past two days, we've had full-fledged lightening sirens twice.
Last night, the news said try not to be outdoors [severe thunderstorm warnings].
Its weird. At home, I loved weather like this.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Run Like Hell
So, starting today, Madeline V. and I are going to go running every other day.
We went back to her apartment after dinner and used there as our starting point tonight. We ran past all of the towering houses and post-modern abodes on Greek Row. Reaching the end, where construction begins on Eastern Gemini, we turned back around. A cute guy was coming, so Mad decided we should pick up the pace. Just at that moment, an SUV full of girls drove by, promptly rolling down the windows and yelling "woo!"
Obviously, they thought Madeline was cute.
We went back to her apartment after dinner and used there as our starting point tonight. We ran past all of the towering houses and post-modern abodes on Greek Row. Reaching the end, where construction begins on Eastern Gemini, we turned back around. A cute guy was coming, so Mad decided we should pick up the pace. Just at that moment, an SUV full of girls drove by, promptly rolling down the windows and yelling "woo!"
Obviously, they thought Madeline was cute.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Iron
I broke an exercise machine today. Broke it!
On the abductor machine, I set it to 160 lbs for my second set, and the belt just... snapped! For a second there I felt really manly.
Then I just felt stupid.
In slightly less interesting news, while weaving in and out of orientation kids so he, AJ and I could grab some lunch, Louis noticed a used hypodermic needle on the brick wall outside of the marketplace.
Not speaking from experience, but I bet whatever was in that needle really helped some kid get through orientation.
On the abductor machine, I set it to 160 lbs for my second set, and the belt just... snapped! For a second there I felt really manly.
Then I just felt stupid.
In slightly less interesting news, while weaving in and out of orientation kids so he, AJ and I could grab some lunch, Louis noticed a used hypodermic needle on the brick wall outside of the marketplace.
Not speaking from experience, but I bet whatever was in that needle really helped some kid get through orientation.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Striations
It's interesting. I never noticed it before, but there seems to be rows in the human skin. Not columns, though, unless you are standing on your side.
In philosophy, the jock in front of me decided to get to know me better, or something, so he reclined in his seat (ooh, weird. As I wrote this, he leaned forward) (curses, he's back!). The back of his neck could use a good shave, as I can see each individual black follicle, aligned neatly in levels in the lines of his flesh (come to think of it, he could use a good moisturizing, too) (and a shower).
Hey, the lines on my hands are pretty neat, too. Like the spiderwebbing of a smashed windshield, or the craquelature of an old painting.
Oh, crap. I didn't take my concerta today.
In philosophy, the jock in front of me decided to get to know me better, or something, so he reclined in his seat (ooh, weird. As I wrote this, he leaned forward) (curses, he's back!). The back of his neck could use a good shave, as I can see each individual black follicle, aligned neatly in levels in the lines of his flesh (come to think of it, he could use a good moisturizing, too) (and a shower).
Hey, the lines on my hands are pretty neat, too. Like the spiderwebbing of a smashed windshield, or the craquelature of an old painting.
Oh, crap. I didn't take my concerta today.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Down South
We went to Gainesville. Kristyn L, Janice S, Shannon M, Erica D, Joe O and I. Just a day and a half. But that was enough.
Made me realize how much I like that school, how gorgeous the campus is with all of the large trees and the Spanish Moss, how much I miss my friends. Made me realize a few other things, too, but they are not within the purview of this journal.
I saw Stephen M (the Juice Box, my best friend) and Erika S ([Rikki], my ex, and other best friend), among others. The Juice and I got to spend some quality time.
Steak n Shake at 3 AM, with a waitress not possessing the cognitive faculties at that hour to differentiate between a strawberry and a peach.
Walgreens at 3:30 AM, with a photo lab tech (?) with a sense of humor at all hours of the night, and a Pharmacist who, for some reason, is suspicious of two college kids who enter the store in the middle of the night laughing and shuffling through their jingling pockets.
Dorm room at 7 AM, when the Juice's roommate shuffles in to go to bed. We only realized 3 hours later that he was sporting a nasty gash on his leg, with dried blood running all the way down to his foot.
And finally, drifting in and out of sleep in the common room from probably 2 PM to 6 PM, while watching Myth Busters, POWERTHIRST, and screaming Pac Man, and helping others with their wireless internet.
Later on, the Juice, Rikki, the others and I met up with Laura E (or J, depending on whom you are asking) and her mother, who treated us to seeing Eli (our favorite kitten) and her two dogs, one who is pushing babies back in like nobody's business. Her mom treated all of us to dinner at the Cracker Barrel, for which I owe her immensely.
And for the cryptic message of the day, I don't like how things are ending up but I know what I want to happen.
Made me realize how much I like that school, how gorgeous the campus is with all of the large trees and the Spanish Moss, how much I miss my friends. Made me realize a few other things, too, but they are not within the purview of this journal.
I saw Stephen M (the Juice Box, my best friend) and Erika S ([Rikki], my ex, and other best friend), among others. The Juice and I got to spend some quality time.
Steak n Shake at 3 AM, with a waitress not possessing the cognitive faculties at that hour to differentiate between a strawberry and a peach.
Walgreens at 3:30 AM, with a photo lab tech (?) with a sense of humor at all hours of the night, and a Pharmacist who, for some reason, is suspicious of two college kids who enter the store in the middle of the night laughing and shuffling through their jingling pockets.
Dorm room at 7 AM, when the Juice's roommate shuffles in to go to bed. We only realized 3 hours later that he was sporting a nasty gash on his leg, with dried blood running all the way down to his foot.
And finally, drifting in and out of sleep in the common room from probably 2 PM to 6 PM, while watching Myth Busters, POWERTHIRST, and screaming Pac Man, and helping others with their wireless internet.
Later on, the Juice, Rikki, the others and I met up with Laura E (or J, depending on whom you are asking) and her mother, who treated us to seeing Eli (our favorite kitten) and her two dogs, one who is pushing babies back in like nobody's business. Her mom treated all of us to dinner at the Cracker Barrel, for which I owe her immensely.
And for the cryptic message of the day, I don't like how things are ending up but I know what I want to happen.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Independent
Don't get me wrong. There's nothing i'd rather do than drive alongside some beautiful lady.
But to spend some time in the car on a national holiday with four beautiful ladies?
Now that's just tops.
Happy independence day everyone. I hope yours was as good as mine.
Waking up at 2:30 in the afternoon, walking to breakfast/lunch in the rain, and hanging out with Kristyn L. and her roommates at Pleasure Island, Disney watching the fireworks, that's hard to beat.
The only fourth of July that I think truly tops this one was last years, when, after a hard day working alongside Habitat for Humanity in Catamayo, Ecuador, our hostel fed us hamburgers and gave us American flag napkins.
Nothing makes you appreciate your country more than not having it.
But to spend some time in the car on a national holiday with four beautiful ladies?
Now that's just tops.
Happy independence day everyone. I hope yours was as good as mine.
Waking up at 2:30 in the afternoon, walking to breakfast/lunch in the rain, and hanging out with Kristyn L. and her roommates at Pleasure Island, Disney watching the fireworks, that's hard to beat.
The only fourth of July that I think truly tops this one was last years, when, after a hard day working alongside Habitat for Humanity in Catamayo, Ecuador, our hostel fed us hamburgers and gave us American flag napkins.
Nothing makes you appreciate your country more than not having it.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Ack, my Memories!
So, I remember my first shower ever when we moved into our last house prior to this one. My sister was hanging out with our new neighbor, Tina H. The bathroom was a sickly Pepto-Bismol(tm) shade of pink with just enough white to temper it. I was five and I was manly, so the white was absolutely essential to my ego.
I got into the shower (sorry, no details, pervert) and went about my business getting squeaky clean. As the shower wore on, I noticed that the shower curtain was getting ever closer to me, billowing in towards the center. With the first live-action Casper the Friendly Ghost movie (with Christina Ricci?) having just come out, my first thought was obviously "Oh man, Fatso (one of Casper's uncles... he was fat) must be in the bathroom and he's pushing the curtain in!"
That was the explanation I gave myself for years, me being so awesome.
And now, look at this! This, this... blasphemy!
Science, once again you have ruined my childhood.
I got into the shower (sorry, no details, pervert) and went about my business getting squeaky clean. As the shower wore on, I noticed that the shower curtain was getting ever closer to me, billowing in towards the center. With the first live-action Casper the Friendly Ghost movie (with Christina Ricci?) having just come out, my first thought was obviously "Oh man, Fatso (one of Casper's uncles... he was fat) must be in the bathroom and he's pushing the curtain in!"
That was the explanation I gave myself for years, me being so awesome.
And now, look at this! This, this... blasphemy!
Science, once again you have ruined my childhood.
Los Entiendo
It's a lot of fun to sit down next to someone speaking on the phone in a different language.
You just have to make sure to give them confused or put-off looks whenever they laugh genuinely.
You know, to keep them guessing.
You just have to make sure to give them confused or put-off looks whenever they laugh genuinely.
You know, to keep them guessing.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Onward!
"It's the journey, not the destination. But it's also the destination, too."So, Kristyn and I got lost today. But not the bad kind of lost where you're not happy not knowing where you are and you follow a river in circles in the woods at night and your nose runs and you make a crappy faux-documentary while escaping from a folklore witch of the "Blair" variety.
--Kristyn L.
Yeah, i'm looking at you, Dennis the Menace.
Anyways, we went out to look for something to do. Four hours later we got back, plus food from Sonic, a DVD, two CDs, two posters, heads full of memories and absolutely no clue where the hell we just were.
I'd totally do it again.
One Down, Countless to Go.
First college test today, General Sociology chapters one through three.
I finished in fifteen minutes. I took an extra five to double check my work. There were a few ambiguous questions, but I’m fairly confident.
Twenty minutes after I started my test, I was leaving the room. Nobody else looked even close to finished.
Man, was that awkward.
I finished in fifteen minutes. I took an extra five to double check my work. There were a few ambiguous questions, but I’m fairly confident.
Twenty minutes after I started my test, I was leaving the room. Nobody else looked even close to finished.
Man, was that awkward.
People of the Bookstore Cafe
It's kind of fun to sit here and just people watch. As long as it looks like you're occupied with a book or a laptop, and provided you are not Creepy Old Guy, it's not hard to pull off unnoticed.
Kid sitting next to me:
Yes, I see that you are reading. Good for you. But it is not necessary to pretend to stop reading for a moment to observe the book cover, feigning great interest. You're not fooling anyone. Honestly, you'd look like less of an idiot if you had just turned to me and proclaimed loudly the title of the book you were reading, instead of just slyly turning the cover towards me and sneaking glances in my direction.
But I am impressed nonetheless; Harry Potter is right up there with Dostoevsky and Dickens.
Girl in the faux-bohemian green striped top:
You want one of the comfortable chairs, a desire to which I can relate. There are probably a dozen of them in the cafe, alongside two or three couches. People are coming and going all the time, so at any given moment there are probably 4 seats freshly occupied, 4 seats used for some time, and 4 about to vacate. Unfortunately for you, i'm still in the middle 4 (although learning towards the third 4). I'm sitting here, trying to write and relax, and having you come by and glare at me every 20 seconds isn't making it any easier. Do you have some special connection with this chair? Too bad. I'm annoyed now.
Oh. damn. The seat next to me opened up.
You win this time.
Guy who left not too long after I sat down:
Damn it, you gave little miss anxiety your chair. But, I suppose it is for the best. You were making me sort of uncomfortable just being here. You were flashing your book around for all to see, just like the little wizard next to me, but... Why? For the love of god and all that is holy, why? You're not even reading anything remotely pop culture. Your book, which reads from right to left (cough, cough), doesn't even have any English text on the front for someone else to recognize. Sorry, pal, but I don't think anyone around us reads Kanji quite like you do.
We all, however, recognize the international symbol for two females, covered in soap suds, making out.
Which, coincidentally, is two females, covered in soap suds, making out.
Classy.
Kid sitting next to me:
Yes, I see that you are reading. Good for you. But it is not necessary to pretend to stop reading for a moment to observe the book cover, feigning great interest. You're not fooling anyone. Honestly, you'd look like less of an idiot if you had just turned to me and proclaimed loudly the title of the book you were reading, instead of just slyly turning the cover towards me and sneaking glances in my direction.
But I am impressed nonetheless; Harry Potter is right up there with Dostoevsky and Dickens.
Girl in the faux-bohemian green striped top:
You want one of the comfortable chairs, a desire to which I can relate. There are probably a dozen of them in the cafe, alongside two or three couches. People are coming and going all the time, so at any given moment there are probably 4 seats freshly occupied, 4 seats used for some time, and 4 about to vacate. Unfortunately for you, i'm still in the middle 4 (although learning towards the third 4). I'm sitting here, trying to write and relax, and having you come by and glare at me every 20 seconds isn't making it any easier. Do you have some special connection with this chair? Too bad. I'm annoyed now.
Oh. damn. The seat next to me opened up.
You win this time.
Guy who left not too long after I sat down:
Damn it, you gave little miss anxiety your chair. But, I suppose it is for the best. You were making me sort of uncomfortable just being here. You were flashing your book around for all to see, just like the little wizard next to me, but... Why? For the love of god and all that is holy, why? You're not even reading anything remotely pop culture. Your book, which reads from right to left (cough, cough), doesn't even have any English text on the front for someone else to recognize. Sorry, pal, but I don't think anyone around us reads Kanji quite like you do.
We all, however, recognize the international symbol for two females, covered in soap suds, making out.
Which, coincidentally, is two females, covered in soap suds, making out.
Classy.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Life Can be Funny Sometimes
This morning after philosophy, while I was hanging out in the bookstore with Kristyn, I received an email for a great deal on a multimedia server. While I no longer have a need for such an item, I did think of two people who could: Kevin, a freelance designer in Atlanta, and my friend Adam I. who had been attending design school in Manhattan when we last talked.
I messaged both of them about it, and had a quick conversation with Kevin, but that was it. When I turned off my laptop to hoof it over to sociology, I thought nothing more of it.
After sociology, as i'm headed back to my room to relax and get ready for the weekend, I see someone coming towards me who stands out for some reason. He looks oddly familiar, but at the same time, he doesn't.
Where could this be going? I know, i'm the master of suspense.
Turns out it was Adam! He was definitely a bit shaggier than before, and was wearing a pair of glasses I had never seen before.
(That was why I didn't recognize him — The Clark Kent effect.)
It seems he's back from Manhattan and now holds a design job in the experiential learning office at my university!
Imagine that.
I messaged both of them about it, and had a quick conversation with Kevin, but that was it. When I turned off my laptop to hoof it over to sociology, I thought nothing more of it.
After sociology, as i'm headed back to my room to relax and get ready for the weekend, I see someone coming towards me who stands out for some reason. He looks oddly familiar, but at the same time, he doesn't.
Where could this be going? I know, i'm the master of suspense.
Turns out it was Adam! He was definitely a bit shaggier than before, and was wearing a pair of glasses I had never seen before.
(That was why I didn't recognize him — The Clark Kent effect.)
It seems he's back from Manhattan and now holds a design job in the experiential learning office at my university!
Imagine that.
Guess Who's Back, Back Again
Yes, he has returned. The crazy old man in the bookstore cafe.
He's slinking down in his chair, like before, directly across from me, like before, weirding me out, like before.
He isn't staring at me this time, because his eyes are closed. I think it is safe to assume that he is sleeping, but has this strange sleep disorder where he smiles, squints his already shut eyes, swivels his head, mouths a song, and taps his fingers along to the melody.
Okay, maybe he isn't asleep. He's lost in some strange reverie where he's... sweating to the oldies. Sweating profusely.
I kind of like the way his jowls flap when he sings. It's mesmerizing. Obey the jowls. We are one with the flapping.
He's slinking down in his chair, like before, directly across from me, like before, weirding me out, like before.
He isn't staring at me this time, because his eyes are closed. I think it is safe to assume that he is sleeping, but has this strange sleep disorder where he smiles, squints his already shut eyes, swivels his head, mouths a song, and taps his fingers along to the melody.
Okay, maybe he isn't asleep. He's lost in some strange reverie where he's... sweating to the oldies. Sweating profusely.
I kind of like the way his jowls flap when he sings. It's mesmerizing. Obey the jowls. We are one with the flapping.
This Mix Has Too Many Academia Nuts!
I can't stop thinking about college.
And yes, I realize that sounds silly because I am in college, but I don't care.
Over the past 3 days I've realized that chemistry is not going to be my major. Or any natural science, for that matter. While I find them interesting subjects, and I tend to do well enough in them, my heart is not in it. I could not spend the rest of my life doing science, as much as my monstrous ego says otherwise—and boy is my ego huge. It has been known to frighten small children and cause fainting in old women.
I may still keep Computer Science as a major, or I may demote it to a minor, I don't know. We'll see after fall. To be entirely honest, I have no idea what my major is going to be, much less what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I've just... I've realized over the past few days what a sucker I am for writing, how passionate I am when involved in an argument (or even just listening), and how much I love people in general and need to be around them. I really don't see how those three things fit into the sciences.
I need to see my academic adviser, but I don't walk to go in empty handed; that's why I found the list of every single major offered by my university, and crossed off every major that immediately stood out as a no. Then, I wrote down each that remained, occasionally tossing one out (read: deleting it) in the most dramatic way possible (think Donald Trump), leaving me with a [comparatively] short list of majors that I would consider.
It was satisfying. I felt powerful.
I am Andy, compiler of lists, lord of the delete key.
...Anyways, my disturbingly trivial power trip aside, here is the complete, sort-of-abridged, probably-missing-a-few List of Majors Andy Would Consider (trademark pending).
[In alphabetical order]
• Business administration
• Communication Sciences and Disorders
• Computer Science
• Criminal Justice
• Economics
• English -- Creative writing
• English education
• English -- technical writing
• General Business
• Journalism
• Legal Studies
• Marketing
• Political Science
• Psychology
• Social Sciences
See? Aren't the bullets impressive? They don't just hand out that title to anyone, you know.
And yes, I realize that sounds silly because I am in college, but I don't care.
Over the past 3 days I've realized that chemistry is not going to be my major. Or any natural science, for that matter. While I find them interesting subjects, and I tend to do well enough in them, my heart is not in it. I could not spend the rest of my life doing science, as much as my monstrous ego says otherwise—and boy is my ego huge. It has been known to frighten small children and cause fainting in old women.
I may still keep Computer Science as a major, or I may demote it to a minor, I don't know. We'll see after fall. To be entirely honest, I have no idea what my major is going to be, much less what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I've just... I've realized over the past few days what a sucker I am for writing, how passionate I am when involved in an argument (or even just listening), and how much I love people in general and need to be around them. I really don't see how those three things fit into the sciences.
I need to see my academic adviser, but I don't walk to go in empty handed; that's why I found the list of every single major offered by my university, and crossed off every major that immediately stood out as a no. Then, I wrote down each that remained, occasionally tossing one out (read: deleting it) in the most dramatic way possible (think Donald Trump), leaving me with a [comparatively] short list of majors that I would consider.
It was satisfying. I felt powerful.
I am Andy, compiler of lists, lord of the delete key.
...Anyways, my disturbingly trivial power trip aside, here is the complete, sort-of-abridged, probably-missing-a-few List of Majors Andy Would Consider (trademark pending).
[In alphabetical order]
• Business administration
• Communication Sciences and Disorders
• Computer Science
• Criminal Justice
• Economics
• English -- Creative writing
• English education
• English -- technical writing
• General Business
• Journalism
• Legal Studies
• Marketing
• Political Science
• Psychology
• Social Sciences
See? Aren't the bullets impressive? They don't just hand out that title to anyone, you know.
Meds be Damned
I'm sorry, Dr. R. You're an interesting guy, really. You know how to relate to your students, even though this is a ground-level course and 99% of your students couldn't care less about the subject matter. I realize that not everyone is as familiar with some of the basics as I may be, and that some background information might be necessary at the beginning of the course.
But seriously, an ENTIRE HOUR on the scientific method?
But seriously, an ENTIRE HOUR on the scientific method?
A Scientific... Release
You know, you really do learn something new every day.
Today, we learned the roots of the word “Philosophy.”
Philosophy breaks down into:
“Philia” which means love, and—
“Soph” which means wisdom.
That’s all fine and good, but can anyone define wisdom?
It’s tricky. But here, today, I will break it down for you a bit further.
Are you ready?
Wisdom actually breaks down into two words rooted in modern english:
"Wizz," which is a verb meaning "to urinate on," and—
"Dome," a colloquial term for one's head.
Ergo, Philosophy is the “love of wisdom,” or “the love of urinating on one’s head.”
Hey, it explains all of the pretentiousness.
Today, we learned the roots of the word “Philosophy.”
Philosophy breaks down into:
“Philia” which means love, and—
“Soph” which means wisdom.
That’s all fine and good, but can anyone define wisdom?
It’s tricky. But here, today, I will break it down for you a bit further.
Are you ready?
Wisdom actually breaks down into two words rooted in modern english:
"Wizz," which is a verb meaning "to urinate on," and—
"Dome," a colloquial term for one's head.
Ergo, Philosophy is the “love of wisdom,” or “the love of urinating on one’s head.”
Hey, it explains all of the pretentiousness.
Interlude
There's a creepy old man sitting across from me in the cafe at the bookstore. He's just watching me read my philosophy book, making 'huff'ing noises every few minutes, counting his (4) 1 dollar bills repeatedly, and waving his arms.
I think he's a professor.
I think he's a professor.
Day 2, Part 1
I woke up more or less on time today — on time being 6:30 for an 8:00 class. I set up my coffee maker to brew around that time so i’d have a cup to wake up to, but for reasons unbeknownst to me, it didn’t start and I had to start it myself. C’est la vie, I still had my coffee (for those interested, Coffeemate’s™ Blueberry Cobbler [limited edition] non-dairy creamer powder is amazing).
I grabbed my breakfast, consisting of a cup of tangerines, a granola bar and a bottle of Lipton’s™ diet white tea with raspberry, and headed to the student union to meet up with Elyssa C. so we could head off to philosophy together. Along the way, we ran into Dr. N., our professor. We said hello, to which he replied “Hi. Are you in my class?”
Needless to say, I sat front row center today.
Class was interesting, again. We discussed Care of the Soul, the philosophy of being a good person. Or something close to that.
Being right in the line of fire, Dr. N. questioned me, lengthily, about whether, given the choice, I would date a beautiful girl or an intelligent one. I answered honestly, saying I could never get a[nother] pretty girl, but after discussing it with him, I realized that I could not put into words what makes an intelligent girl appealing.
Gah.
We also discussed the 3 traits an ideal mate should have.
The first is intellect. They should be intelligent. But, intelligence can also be used for evil. Ergo, the second trait is a moral will. Right from wrong, good from evil. A developed sense of judgement. But then, what’s to say they won’t be boring? So, the third trait is a creative mind — spontaneity.
Honestly, though, there is so much more than that. Rikki fit all three of those things, and while it was wonderful for a long time, in the end we weren’t right for each other. Now I just need to figure out what the rest of the pieces are, what makes someone right for me.
Now i’m sitting here in the cafe with my new buddy Kristyn L. (Shannon’s friend), typing, and... I suppose i’m happy. I like it here.
Last night, Joey A. and I went to the reflecting pool (the large fountain in the middle of the campus), and just sat on the steps talking for half an hour. Almost nobody came by and bothered us, and we just talked. I got a chance to think about things, and I feel good.
In an hour, I go to my sociology class. If I get inspired, I may write about the second half of my day later.
Don’t worry, once I get back into the swing of things, my posts won’t be so boring.
But right now, this is for me.
I grabbed my breakfast, consisting of a cup of tangerines, a granola bar and a bottle of Lipton’s™ diet white tea with raspberry, and headed to the student union to meet up with Elyssa C. so we could head off to philosophy together. Along the way, we ran into Dr. N., our professor. We said hello, to which he replied “Hi. Are you in my class?”
Needless to say, I sat front row center today.
Class was interesting, again. We discussed Care of the Soul, the philosophy of being a good person. Or something close to that.
Being right in the line of fire, Dr. N. questioned me, lengthily, about whether, given the choice, I would date a beautiful girl or an intelligent one. I answered honestly, saying I could never get a[nother] pretty girl, but after discussing it with him, I realized that I could not put into words what makes an intelligent girl appealing.
“So you say it makes her interesting?”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
“Interesting how? If you tell your mother that your new girlfriend is interesting, she’d say ‘Oh, that’s nice.’ But what can she say besides that? What does interesting mean?”
Gah.
We also discussed the 3 traits an ideal mate should have.
The first is intellect. They should be intelligent. But, intelligence can also be used for evil. Ergo, the second trait is a moral will. Right from wrong, good from evil. A developed sense of judgement. But then, what’s to say they won’t be boring? So, the third trait is a creative mind — spontaneity.
Honestly, though, there is so much more than that. Rikki fit all three of those things, and while it was wonderful for a long time, in the end we weren’t right for each other. Now I just need to figure out what the rest of the pieces are, what makes someone right for me.
Now i’m sitting here in the cafe with my new buddy Kristyn L. (Shannon’s friend), typing, and... I suppose i’m happy. I like it here.
Last night, Joey A. and I went to the reflecting pool (the large fountain in the middle of the campus), and just sat on the steps talking for half an hour. Almost nobody came by and bothered us, and we just talked. I got a chance to think about things, and I feel good.
In an hour, I go to my sociology class. If I get inspired, I may write about the second half of my day later.
Don’t worry, once I get back into the swing of things, my posts won’t be so boring.
But right now, this is for me.
The root of “happen” is “hap,” the Middle English word for “chance” or “luck.” That is also the root of the modern English word “happiness.” This is an indication of how little we know ourselves, how materialistic and externalistic and shallow we habitually are. We think happiness “happens.”
--Peter Kreeft, Philosophy 101 by Socrates
First Day of School
I really like the smaller of my philosophy textbooks (Philosophy 101 By Socrates, Peter Kreeft)
First day of school wasn't bad at all. I did wake up an hour late, but because I had actually planned to wake up an hour early it all canceled out (I refuse to believe that it is spelled canceled and not cancelled, but whatever).
My Philosophy professor Dr. N. is a really funny guy, and an amazing teacher. He teaches through the Socratic Method (it's philosophy, duh) but he does so to such a degree that you end up rethinking anything you believe about the question. And it's only the first day.
The girl next to me, as sweet as she was in the beginning of the class — complimenting me on my shirt — was absolutely incensed when the teacher rejected her answer outright. She was muttering under her breath for a good minute. Then again, her answer was kind of pretentious and... of dubious quality.
Between classes, Elyssa C. and I went to get our textbooks from the book store, and after she left for her Astronomy class, I relaxed in the cafe and transcribed all of my notes from philosophy into an outlining program that I found hidden in the depths of my mac.
I ended up recognizing this girl Kristyn L. whom I had met once before (in 8th or 9th grade...). She's a friend of Shannon and the gang, so she's a friend of mine. I sat next to her while she read, and ended up reading my philosophy assignment (10 solidly interesting pages) about 3 times. The author is absolutely brilliant.
It's nothing special, but it isn't dry and boring. Hush, I like it.
After Kristyn and I parted ways, I went to my sociology class, where, while waiting outside, I was approached by Jose, an aerospace engineering major from Guatemala who lives off campus with his brothers. He had recognized me from our philosophy class, but it didn't go much further than that.
In class, I sit down next to a girl who kept dropping her pencil (I, of course, was gentleman enough to keep picking it up for her), and eventually just collapsed her desk and sent her stuff flying everywhere.
The girl behind me was giving her number to the girl sitting next to her, when her friend proclaimed "Yeah, why not just tell everyone here!" So, she finished her number a bit more quietly. Obviously, I turned around and asked her to 'repeat that last part.'
The class went off without a hitch, except once the professor didn't give us enough time to copy a slide. But with my new outlining software, I kept it all neat and organized. Hooray!
I've been walking so much lately that both of my achilles tendons are strained, and my legs feel like i've worked them out.
Which, incidentally, Joey A. and I are about to do. So, I bid you adieu until next time.
"[Y]ou shall hear from me the whole truth; not eloquence, gentlemen, like their own, decked out in fine words and phrases, not covered with ornaments; not at all — you shall hear things spoken anyhow in the words that first come. For I believe justice is in what I say."
--Socrates, at his trial
First day of school wasn't bad at all. I did wake up an hour late, but because I had actually planned to wake up an hour early it all canceled out (I refuse to believe that it is spelled canceled and not cancelled, but whatever).
My Philosophy professor Dr. N. is a really funny guy, and an amazing teacher. He teaches through the Socratic Method (it's philosophy, duh) but he does so to such a degree that you end up rethinking anything you believe about the question. And it's only the first day.
The girl next to me, as sweet as she was in the beginning of the class — complimenting me on my shirt — was absolutely incensed when the teacher rejected her answer outright. She was muttering under her breath for a good minute. Then again, her answer was kind of pretentious and... of dubious quality.
Between classes, Elyssa C. and I went to get our textbooks from the book store, and after she left for her Astronomy class, I relaxed in the cafe and transcribed all of my notes from philosophy into an outlining program that I found hidden in the depths of my mac.
I ended up recognizing this girl Kristyn L. whom I had met once before (in 8th or 9th grade...). She's a friend of Shannon and the gang, so she's a friend of mine. I sat next to her while she read, and ended up reading my philosophy assignment (10 solidly interesting pages) about 3 times. The author is absolutely brilliant.
"'Know thyself' was inscribed over the Delphic oracle's temple. It was the first commandment of the god Apollo, who supposedly inspired the oracle (the 'Sybil,' a prophetess who spoke in the god's name). The second was 'nothing in excess.' These two commandments summed up the wisdom of Apollo."
--Peter Kreeft, Philosophy 101 by Socrates
It's nothing special, but it isn't dry and boring. Hush, I like it.
After Kristyn and I parted ways, I went to my sociology class, where, while waiting outside, I was approached by Jose, an aerospace engineering major from Guatemala who lives off campus with his brothers. He had recognized me from our philosophy class, but it didn't go much further than that.
In class, I sit down next to a girl who kept dropping her pencil (I, of course, was gentleman enough to keep picking it up for her), and eventually just collapsed her desk and sent her stuff flying everywhere.
The girl behind me was giving her number to the girl sitting next to her, when her friend proclaimed "Yeah, why not just tell everyone here!" So, she finished her number a bit more quietly. Obviously, I turned around and asked her to 'repeat that last part.'
The class went off without a hitch, except once the professor didn't give us enough time to copy a slide. But with my new outlining software, I kept it all neat and organized. Hooray!
I've been walking so much lately that both of my achilles tendons are strained, and my legs feel like i've worked them out.
Which, incidentally, Joey A. and I are about to do. So, I bid you adieu until next time.
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